Me

I am not good at anything and I am a jerk!!! This whole semester break I spend by eating, sleeping and watching movies. I promise myself that before this semester break end, I am going to improve myself by being a better person. Helping my mother do chores, improving my English, getting a driving license and lose weight but none of that happen. Yes, I help my mom but this house is still a disaster and none of the thing I want to improve, well , improve. I have made this promise too many times already and it does not end the way I want. I am just doing things that make my body weight increase!! damn it. I hate myself, I just want to be a better person for the one I love and here I am. Sitting at my bed watching movies, eating and sleeping. Sometimes the things that we want maybe does not end like we wanted it to be but we have to work harder to get what we want.

Yes, today is my birthday but i feel so alone. Takde kek, takde celebration and tak de pape. Cuma berseorangan di dalam bilik merenung nasib diri. Macam biasala, every time my birthday mesti menangis. Pakwe janji na bwk keluar tapi roadtax kte da tamat tempoh plak=.=...Umi cakap nak datang hari ni tapi xjadi sebab kelas sampai petang..sunyi sangat..I really hope to spend this day with my loved ones. ='( Aku cuma harap mase birthday, dapat kek, hadiah and bersama-sama dengan orang tersayang. Tiga tu je..xbanyakpon..

p.s: Ape-apepun aku tetap bersyukur sebab masih hidup..

WAKE UP!!!

Come on...pack the things up..you don't want to do it last minute right..this is not like BSMM camp or +math camp that u spend 3 days there..this is college where u will spend 3 years of your lifetime....i never been away from home that long..there i'll study the meaning of life and making mistakes...studying and experimenting...u are not that girl anymore..the spoiled gurl with a broken heart..wake up come back to reality..what gone is gone..bye-bye highschool and here come college...chayok-chayok..>_<

Hari ini..

Subuh-subuh lagi sudah kedengaran umie membebelkan aku kerana tak tidur dan membazir elektrik dengan mengunakan laptop sedangkan tv terpasang...* sorry >_< * bukan sengaja tapi terpakselah..dah lah aku nie bukan jenis yang berani sangat..kalau tak pasang tv kang macam-macam pulak bunyi aku dengar..ade bunyi kucing bergaduhla..ade bunyi anjing menggonggongla..ade bunyi serangga dan..ade bunyi..paham-pahamla eh huhu..2la rutin ku di malam hari..menatap laptop dan tv..bosan..dalam perjalanan ke pejabat umie..mataku seperti di gam..sudah tak mampu di buka lagi sehingga tersenguk-senguk di dalam kereta..penatnya bukan kepalang..badanku menyucuk-nyucuk kesakitan meronta-ronta meminta direhatkan...

Otakku Berkarat..

Hidup kini terase lebih bosan dan semakin bosan..Sejak abis sekolah nie vocab aku pun dah 'haus'..haiz..pela nak jadi..nak tulis satu perengan pun amik masa lama..susahla kalau sambung belajar nanti... skang nie aku macam tak ade matlamat hidop dah sejak aku tersungkur di persimpangan jalan walaupun tak de gagal ( alhamdulilah ) tapi tanpa cita-cita hidup xbermakna jugakkan..laptop nie jela tempat aku meluahkan rase suka dan duka huhu..sejak ade broadband yang mak aku beli lagilah parah..siang malam hadap laptop je huahua...pasal cinta..aku tak sedia lagila nak beri komitmen tu..sejak frust dulu, aku nak sebut tiga perkataan tu pun susah...biarlah..bapak aku pun asik bebel jangan bercinta..jangan percaya lelaki..btulla tu..buat kusut otak aku yang dah sedia kusut nie je..

Road ahead of me...

Jauhnya rasa perjalanan hidup ini...rase gelap dan suram ..penuh liku dan ranjau..pahit dan manis..but thanks to my mum yang tak putus-putus bagi aku semangat supaya tak putus asa dalam meneruskan perjalanan hidup walaupun tak dapat futher study dalam bidang yang aku nak...akhirnya aku decide untuk melanjutkan pelajaran dalam business studies(DBS)..itulah course yang akan aku ambil di kolej profesional mara nanti.....kena belajar rajin-rajin..tak boleh main-main macam form 5 da..

My Heart is Broken

I'm sick of crying,
I'm tired of trying,
I'm smiling but,
Inside I'm dying...