My story.

All my life, people look down on me. Like I am nothing more than a weak person. Always not good enough, always not pretty enough and always not bright enough. All my life, I am afraid to speak out, i am afraid to voice out how i felt, I am afraid to be criticize,  i am afraid to be ignore and i am afraid to speak to strangers even if they are the same gender as me! I don't have a lot of friend because the friendship that I build usually doesn't last that long and I don't know how to appreciate my friend. I am sorry, I am sorry because i am not being a good and the best friend for you.  For all of you, if any reading this.

My primary school was a nightmare. I always being bullied by my friends and even my teacher. I even afraid to go to my school those days. I always skip school one to three days of school week. You can imagine how many days that I am absent don't you. Teacher, please don't get me wrong. Some of you change my life and make me crave to be a better person but some have given me a nightmare. I am sorry if i didn't do your homework and my attitude makes you loss your temper. But I need you, I need your guidance and support. My friend in primary school, I am sorry but I really hate you guys. I didn't know if we are even a friend. The harsh treatment that you all gives really hurts me.

To be continued.

Industrial Training

One more month to go for industrial training. Just wish me luck because this is the month for me to face the jerk. Yes, it may sound weird but that is the name i am going to call him. Whatever it is, this is how i felt through out this experience.
                             

xoxo zara ;)

This is what i call inspiring. Never lose hope! :)

Praktikal:)

Minggu ni genap sebulan aku praktikal dan praktikal sebenarnya sangat menyeronokkan^_^ Even the bos are very sporting! What a life but mane ade orang hidup takde problem kan :) Rakan sekerja aku semuanya ramah dan baik so kerja aku lebih lancar bila im in a good mood.  Tipulah takde rakan sekerja yang jahat. I hate him but  who is he to stop me living my life to the fullest. So pengajarannya, don't ever let someone to stop you from fulfilling your dream! ;)

P/s : ayat skema haha...: p

One of my favourite songs.

Da lame rasenya tak buka blog nie.So, sebagai permulaan start tulis blog balik aku nak dedicated lagu nie kepada sesiapa yang memerlukan semangat sebab bagi aku lagu nie memang memberi aku kekuatan disaat2 aku menghadapi dugaan yang sangat2 berat....insha Allah lepas dengar lagu nie at least kita dapat rase lega sikit...:)

Alhamdulillah

I am so grateful with my results and thank you ALLAH for giving me the chance to get 4flat. I never though I will get the chance to get something big like this but this comes with big responsibility. Once we get good result, people usually expect more from us and I have failed before. Like when I get a good result at PMR and people expect me to get a good result in SPM but I failed. My parents looks very disappointed. I don't want to disappointing anyone especially my mum. I just want to be the best for my love ones. I also afraid to tell my boyfriend my result. I don't want him to feel uneasy or anything. I love him, I really do and I don't want to lose him in my life. I know he will be happy for me but I don't want him to belittle himself or anything. He looks sad in his message. I know he is a very smart and nice person. We have a different course and I know his course is far more harder than mine. He is so special to me. Someone really precious to me and I don't want to hurt him in any ways.

Appreciate someone who care..

Yesterday I had a big fight with my grandmother. Is it wrong for a daughter to defend her mother? Yes, Its true that I said she is being selfish and she make my mum like her slave. My mother is her only daughter that want to take care of her and what did she do? she hurt her. I know my mother loves her so much and she may had hurt her before but I know my mother doesn't mean what she said to her. Then, she said bad things about me. She said that I am her most disrespectful grandchild she ever had. She said I'm not her granddaughter anymore and she pray bad things will happen to me.Why?because I'm telling her the truth??because I tell her to thinks about my mum feelings?funny. Today she act like nothing happen and ask me to help her to do this and that for her. She think she can just forget what happen. Well this not anymore her granddaughter is the ONE who help her wear her diaper and accompany her and my mum to treat her illness. WHO carry her stuff in and out of the house.WHO support her to walk. WHO had to smell her pee when she need help to wear her diapers. It is not that I'm not sincere, but after what she said to me? Well, its hurt. I can never forget her words and cursing. Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata?Please think other people feelings, I'm not soulless, I am a normal human being who have FEELINGS!